Carry On

Sigh.

Between working at the flower shop (I opened the store all by myself yesterday!) and doing fun things in my personal life, like cooking delicious soup and relaxing with my husband, it's been a good time around here of late.

Despite all the goodness, I've been feeling either stagnant or deterred in the journey to one day being a florist under my own management.  I suppose the stagnant feeling can stem from routine, any routine.  But I like routine.  It just takes me a moment to remind myself that the routine of my hours at the flower shop is important to my growth as a florist and as a future business owner.  And then I instantly remember why I made the change.  And I'm happy again.

Deterred.  This one came on big time the other day.

After I quit my teaching job, I went on one other teaching interview.  I did this to just give it a go, and to appease several friends who were still pulling for me to stay in the classroom.  They made great arguments about why I should stay in education, and I truly see where they are coming from.  So, off to the interview I went.

In short, I did not receive an offer for that job, due to politics between charter schools.  But they still to this date need a teacher.  So they've been courting me to take a job with them.  While their interest in me is kind of flattering, I will be sending their CEO an email today stating while the offer is competitive, I will not be taking the job.

Normally, I wouldn't really care about turning down a job offer.  I have a job, and having two full-time jobs wouldn't work in this situation.  I left teaching for a reason.  But the hard part in this, is that it feels like the offering school is trying to stomp their feet all over my happiness in my current place.

In our conversation (I'm really way too accommodating - I shouldn't have agreed to talk to them yet again.), they attempted to sway me with a big salary, benefits, and other "perks" to the teaching job.  One of these being a cell phone to be reached at.  Presumably any time.  No.  Thanks.

I was told over and over again of the great purpose that the CEO felt in working with students.  Of the groundbreaking change that is the result of teaching.  And of how I could join with them and do that noble work.

But is the work I'm doing now so self-indulgent and petty?

I'm trying to achieve a dream.  I'm learning about small business ownership and about plants and flowers.  I'm happier than I've been in two years.  I'm helping to make someone's wedding day/birthday/just-because-day beautiful.  I'm effectively helping to make magic happen, as in the case of a seven wedding weekend we just pulled off.

In the end, nobody can force me to do anything I don't want to do.  But I suppose that my thick skin will just have to toughen up some more.  I am not apologizing for my choices.  Mostly because it wouldn't change anyone's mind anyway, but also because my happiness and well-being is essential to my life.  And since I only get to do this once, I'm going to choose the best way for me and my family.

And that is with flowers.  Always, with flowers.



Love and light,

Alyssa